Connecticut is Closed on Mondays
I went with a friend to Connecticut last week. We decided that we wanted to try Imperial Stout Trooper Ale, which is made in Connecticut. Since we were going, we figured that we'd go to Louis' Lunch, the first hamburger place. Neither of us wanted to over-plan, so we looked up addresses, grabbed a GPS unit, and headed Northwest for 2.5 hours.
We first went to Louis' Lunch in New Haven. The man outside the building, who I will call Louis, was locking the door when we got there. The parking attendant let us know that Louis' Lunch is closed on Mondays. The website says that, too, next to the address we looked up. Luckily, there was a good Irish pub nearby. Neither of us thought to order Imperial Stout Trooper with our meal until we were already driving away. We're dumb.
A few towns over in Woodbridge, we made it to New England Brewing Co. We went to the address that the website says welcomes visitors anytime. Lies. We walked around the back.
The entirety of the company is pretty small. We figured that it was either a sales office or the bar area was located behind the garage door that we never saw behind. We went inside, but there didn't seem to be anybody around, and the office upstairs was home to a full drum kit. We left, since it clearly wasn't the kind of place we expected.
Google Maps on my PC says "place closed," but the version on my phone said "closed permanently." We laughed hysterically at how much our plan of not planning was backfiring. Naturally, we blamed Connecticut for this.
Across the street, we thought we found redemption: a gamer store. Just browsing the dice and books would make this worth it. That sign says that it is closed to the public on Mondays.
At this point we looked up news on the New England Brewing Company. Lucasfilm apparently issued a Cease and Desist on Imperial Stout Trooper Ale. Disappointed, but still hopeful, we went to a nearby liquor store that sells New England Brewing Co. products. Nothing.
We bought a few brews and liqueurs that we thought aren't sold near where we live, dropped by High Point Brewery near where we live to fill a few growlers of Ramstein, and drank while watching Empire Strikes Back. We tried to order pizza when we got home, but it turns out that the pizzeria down the block from my apartment is closed on Mondays. Naturally, this was Connecticut's fault.
During all of this, we played a few jokes on friends over the phone about our road trip's progress. We shared stories of ourselves and mutual friends. We drank Ramstein and Viking Blod while watching Star Wars. Even though nothing worked out as planned, everything was fun in the end, and our semi-retroactive goal of just taking a road trip for fun was fulfilled.
In the end, it all boils down to two new conventions:
- If any establishment is closed when you thought it would be open, blame it on Connecticut.
- If anything ever goes wrong on a Monday, blame it on Connecticut.
Also, our friends don't know if we're serious whenever we say we're going somewhere random. Knowing that makes me smile.