I frequently read Topless Robot. If you've never heard of it, it's not what you think. Topless Robot is a great geek news aggregator and comedy site.
Topless Robot gives out free shirts every week to winners of a weekly contest. This past week the contest was to make the best Valentine's Day card from a comic book character. Yesterday, the results were posted. I normally find these contests pretty funny, but yesterday's results were so hilarious that I want to post a few here.
My Dearest Mary Jane,
Goblins are green,
Symbiotes are black,
I'd love you forever
But Quesada's a hack
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
written by SpiderHyphenMan
From Gambit to Rogue:
"I don't want anybody else
When I think about I think
about you I touch myself...
...because that's pretty much
the only option."
written by GreggoryBase
I hope you are sitting down for this--
Happy Valentines Day...
written by stewbacca
These were my favorites of the chosen few that were listed on the results page. Go to the link above to see the rest.
Before posting this a friend told me he didn't understand the first and third picks. For those who don't know the references:
- Joe Quesada is the writer on Spider-Man: One More Day. It is a generally hated story arc of the Spider-Man series. In the story Spider-Man makes a deal with the Devil to sacrifice his marriage to Mary Jane in exchange for saving Aunt May's life.
- Even though they love each other, Gambit and Rogue can never directly touch each other because Rogue's uncontrollable mutant power would weaken/kill Gambit.
- In Alan Moore's Batman: The Killing Joke the Joker shot Barbara Gordon, crippling her. She has been in a wheelchair ever since.