Maxim Monday - 9 - Intend to Get Married

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Warning: This article became way more sappy than I intended. Reader discretion is advised.

This Maxim Monday was deliberately delayed. Also, I'm cheating this week by selecting a Maxim rather than letting the dice decide.

On Monday night/Tuesday morning, I became engaged.

Although buying the right engagement ring is a very personal process, I still felt like I needed to put more of myself into it.

I found out that I needed to select a setting and a stone separately, and the jeweler would put the ring together for me. This allows for a lot more customization than I thought it would be. There are tons of options for a setting, but in the end it still felt a bit too "easy," regardless of the time it took to save the money. I wanted to put more of myself into it, so I took out my saw and miter box and built a better ring box for my cupcake-loving girlfriend fiancée.

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I plan to add how I built the box to the site.

As for why you should "intend to get married," I think the phrasing is poor. The direct translation as per Google Translate is "marry future," as in to become married one day. I know there are limitations on language here, so let me try to explain myself.

I never intended to marry. Unless I'm very good friends with someone, I tend to be quiet and more of a loner. I build my projects to entertain myself, not because it's something to show off. I just find a "hobby" of watching TV to be boring. I need to do something while the TV (or more likely YouTube) is on in the background. I just go stir crazy too easily.

By random chance, I met my girlfriend fiancée at a party over six years ago. On Christmas we started the "I wonder if he/she actually likes me" phase where each of us is stupid and awkward around the other person, testing the waters. (I'm also glad to know that this pattern of stupidity and regret happens in nearly every new relationship, regardless of age.) By January, we were a couple.

It's amazing how much greater a project becomes when I can share it with someone, knowing that it'll actually be used. Rather than putting together another shelf just because I'm bored with scrap wood, or soldering an automatic closet light because I had the parts instead of just using a light switch, I'm doing something that matters to someone. That closet door never did stay shut, but the China cabinet door works.

Although we are both the loner type, we don't intrude on each other. We enhance each other's life. We both found the one other person that would do that. Now, we both would rather be left alone together. We go on road trips together. We push each other to be better.

We were both in serious, long-term relationships before we found each other. If we had simply intended to get married to someone, we both would be with the wrong people. This is why I say that the common translation is poor phrasing. Instead, be open to marriage, and when you find someone who you feel incomplete without yet you both still have your own identity (marriage is not co-dependency), then make the promise to never let that feeling end for each other.

I thought I felt complete before, but I was wrong. I just didn't know what being complete truly felt like. We complete each other, and we are pledging to never let the other feel incomplete ever again.