Start a Dialog and Interface

Today's post is special! It involves two interchangeable buzzwords that are used semi-properly but stupidly.

Start a Dialog/Interface

What it means:

Start a dialog (v.) - To begin a conversation involving two or more people (source)

Interface (n.) - A boundary between two objects OR a point where two objects interact (source)

Interface (v.) - To join two objects OR to serve as the joint between two object (source)

What my company thinks it means:

Start a dialog (v.) - To talk

Interface (n.) - A person designated for conversation

Interface (v.) - To talk

Sentence used in my office:

"I need you to start a dialog about the [project]. Your interface should be [some guy], so interface with him. We should be able to leverage your dialogs about the [project] in the future going forward."

How this sentence could have been said:

"See what you can find out about the [project] from [some guy]."

The term "start a dialog" is just stupid to use.  Why can't I just "talk" to somebody. Why do I need to "start a dialog" with him? Am I going to exchange dramatic narratives with coworkers during a meeting? No, although that does have some awesomeness potential. At least "start a dialog" is being used properly, unlike leverage.

During a bout of insanity, I managed to justify "interface" to myself.

My systems engineering contact is apparently on crack.

The term "interface" takes all of the humanity out of the discussion; we are all just droids interfacing with each other. There is a manager's whiteboard that refers to his staff by employee number rather than by name. I hate this term because it accentuates the whole "you are nothing but a cog in the machine" feeling we all have at my job.