Why Does High Fashion Exist?
Originally, I thought I didn't understand fashion. I always figured that it was kind of like art using clothing. I've come to realize that is exactly what fashion is. It follows that, like art, there exists a class of "high art" called "high fashion." Both are only appreciated by others who make the same type of work. Most people call these groups "Rich Retards."
First, let's start with the picture from last week that inspired me to write this.
The Slarf: Letting others know that you had $200 of disposable income to supplement your tight, tight pants.
Seriously, what does this clothing accomplish? I can't comment on whether or not there is a demand for scarf & sleeve combos. Maybe that's just the clothing version of hacking. I know when I made my automatic closet light, the conversation afterward was similar to:
<ContraPants> I automated the closet.
<ContraPants> When the door opens, the light turns on.
* ContraPants smiles.
<t3h_G-F> What's wrong with just flicking a lightswitch?
Maybe in the clothing world:
<TightPants> My arms were cold, so I attached a sleeve to my scarf.
<TightPants> I don't know what to do about the other one, though.
* TightPants smiles.
<Somed00d> What's wrong with a jacket?
I still have one question. Why keep only one arm warm? If one arm is cold enough to warrant wearing a slarf, wouldn't the other arm be cold as well? Perhaps the wearer only has one arm, such as the uber-manly Aron Ralston. However, such as with the antithesis of Aron Ralston pictured above, the case is most likely that the other arm is already snugly positioned up his male partner's rectum.
All of this fashion talk reminded me of a "dress" that resembled a potato sack.
Fashion Show or Japanese Game Show?
I searched for "fashion potato sack" to find this picture, so I'm not the only one who thinks like this.
This may have been the first fashion show I saw. My dad and I were scanning through the TV channels looking for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (called Takeshi's Castle in Japan).
They tend to wear outlandish things, so when we saw the potato sack, we thought we found it. We were wrong. We watched the rest of the fashion show in bewilderment. After the shock wore off and our jokes started, I think we laughed just as much as if we had watched Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Charlie Le Mindu
Charlie Le Mindu is a French wig designer. I could dedicate an entire subdomain to ranting about how stupid I think his creations are, but I don't have to. I found the perfect summary: Charlie Le Mindu is "Lady Gaga-inspired." (source) In context, I think that is supposed to be a compliment; I'm not sure how that's possible.
"Seriously, fuck PETA!" - Lady Gaga's dress
He's really into making curtains out of hair that are supposed to be worn like a backwards cape.
Is this a giant sentient pubic mound, or is this the attack of the giant killer beards?
Many people try to get in touch with their Inner Child. This woman is expressing her Inner Husked Ear of Corn.
Charlie can also cause minor miracles, such as giving women the much-sought-after ability to blow elephants with the tops of their heads.
Are any of these things worn more than once? Do they ever leave the catwalk? I'm genuinely curious about this. Is it possible to run into someone who is wearing the same thing at a party? That embarrassment times the embarrassment you should feel for wearing this crap in the first place equals embarrassment^2. That situation is grounds for understandable suicide.
If these asinine creations were never formed, the money probably could have been used on something that would have actually benefited mankind. It could have aided cancer research... or made a second season of Firefly.