How People Find The War On Pants - Part 2

It's time once again to list a couple of the search terms that led people to this site. There were a couple that surprised me, made me laugh, or irritated me. I tried to put a bit of time between this post and the last one. I don't want to overdo it.

All of these are actual search terms from February 21, 2011 to April 05, 2011, inclusive. Spelling and grammar are left intact. Most of the more sane or relevant searches have been left out.

One of the major terms this time was people looking for pictures of Julie Bowen naked. This is funny to me because the only time that has ever come up was last time I wrote How People Find The War On Pants. To balance this, here's a picture of Julie Bowen clothed, but still without pants.

Julie Bowen - Pantsless Paddleboard

Ah, who could ever forget Labyrinth? It stars, in order of prominence, David Bowie's crotch, Jennifer Connelly, and David Bowie.

Bowie Labyrinth
Admit it. You can't look away, either.

As a side note, when I performed a Google Image search for the above picture, I ended up finding it through a link to my own site. Yay unnecessary complexity!

With the Oscars having just past, it's understandable that I'd still be getting hits for Black Swan. Plus, the DVD just came out. It's time to check out the commentary!

Of course. Let me refresh your memory.

Yoda Fleshlight
The force is strong with this one.

I can't believe how many hits and responses I got about my article on hipsters. I never really used Yelp, but I still think that I will use it for every time I go to a new restaurant if it lets me filter out anything infested with hipsters.

I haven't watched V at all this season. I'm curious to know if my predictions were right.

Le Mindu is still a hack, and high fashion is still terrible.

Charlie Le Mindu WTF

"Crotch?" Just "crotch?" Learn to Google!

Bowie Labyrinth
Yeah, I repeated a picture. So what? Can you find a more fitting one?

I liked it. Also, Aron Ralston is a god of a man.

Why do you want that!?

Giger Alien
Someone looked at this and thought, "I totally want to stick my penis in that."

Yoda Fleshlight
That's right! I repeated a picture twice!

That was my first idea for my automatic closet light. I decided against it, though.

Door Light Schematic 1

I've gotten positive responses to my interpretation of Black Swan. I haven't watched the commentary track on the DVD yet.

It's awesome, but just looking at sweaters makes me itchy.

Contra Sweater
Contra Sweater

Serbian Mario doesn't get eaten by sharks. Serbian Mario kills sharks.

Mario vs Shark
Mario vs Shark

Clearly, this wasn't a search. This was someone trying to teach Google something through the search box.

There is already a movie that describes the entire process.

American Pie Poster

He doesn't exist.

Fine. I'll give in. Here's a movie poster for this crap.

Saving Ryans Privates - Mattie LaBoeuf

Pube Spiders
Pube Spiders

It wasn't the worst GUI I've ever seen, but it was pretty bad.

I don't think I be posting a review of that for a long, long time.

I haven't had a problem with collecting information about myself ever since I wrote this code.

This code will cover that problem.

Wearing pants for 127 hours straight may actually kill me.

He won't say.

I'd imagine that would hurt.

Of course it's for him. A fleshlight for her is called a dildo.

Like a fleshlight for a horse, or shoving the fleshlight between the mattress and boxspring?

That's a synonym for "stupid" or "pointless."

Step one: Make an open fist.

Step two: You're done.

He wore overalls, didn't he?

Scale of Pretentiousness

Latifah - Fleshlight
This is still funny to me.

"Katy Cats." It's slightly less ridiculous than "Katy Perry Fan."

I don't know.

It makes me happy when someone looks for my site specifically.

I don't know if I'd exactly call that a love scene.

Why do you need instructions for that!? You know what? I'm glad you need a fleshlight. You shouldn't ever reproduce.

I guess you've got a thing for handicapped chicks and pasty white guy.

I really like that this searched required a space after the word "crotch." That's important.

I'm sure that whoever coined that phase is burning in Hell. If not, then there is no God.

That's how I feel about the issue.

OK. This one is much more understandable.

Perfect Burrito
I've been told that with a little creative relabelling, this diagram can be used in a high school health class.

Oh, fuck off. I'm starting to hate fleshlights now.

A Chipolte engineer should understand this graph.

![Mouth Happiness vs Burrito Rolling Angle](Mouth-Happiness-vs-Burrito-Rolling-Angle.png Mouth Happiness vs Burrito Rolling Angle

I know it sounds like I hate management, but I really don't. I just have a problem with my current management. I don't feel so bad about that, though, because the rest of the company doesn't like my management either. If they were all that dumb, my company probably wouldn't exist anymore.

Every day I'm told to leverage my core competencies to further improve living our values.

I'm pretty sure that's worse than a fungus. Get out of there.

I found it extremely easy to calculate if you can get your hands on a signal generator.

I don't think so. If she ever does make one, I hope it incorporates a fleshlight in some way.

I guess that's like a double ended dildo for men.

It truly is a pure sentence fluffer for those who are attempting to talk about something that know nothing about what they're talking about.

I sort of hate myself for instantly picturing a design for this instantly after I read it.

Graphical Representation of Malloc
I got you covered.

I don't have a pair of pants specifically for Groundhog Day, mostly because I don't want to wear pants on Groundhog Day.

You're probably thinking about Scanners.

Scanners Head Explosion

That's a redundant statement.

Who cares? Whatever it is, it's more than you.

Paper Crane
Only a few square centimeters

I'm severely behind on updating the site on my RC Tank progress. It'll all be posted one day. I promise!

Just draw up a Karnaugh Map.

Cuoco - Avocado
Cuoco - Avocado
The word "avocado" comes from the Nahuatl word for "testicle." You can thank Good Eats for this picture.

Would you risk hundreds of dollars in camera equipment to hack your own remote control? I did.

Y2K would have been awesome if that was true.

That's because "SyFy" hates sci-fi.

Bowie Crotch - Labyrinth

Aron Ralston

Dude! No!

I liked it. Buying that was my consolation prize to finding out that Connecticut is closed on Mondays.

That's it for now. I have something special planned for the next post. Stay tuned!