How People Find The War On Pants

I occasionally check my site statistics to see how many people are reading this site. I can see what sites people have found my home on the Web and, in the case of search engines, I can see the search terms the person used. I thought it would be fun to share some of these terms. Some of them are a little bizarre.

These actual search terms are in no particular order from January 04, 2011 to February 20, 2011. Not all terms are listed.

The majority of my traffic is for my analysis of Black Swan. I honestly think that the symbolism I mentioned was obvious to me, but again, I went into the movie in analysis mode.

Apparently I'm not the only one who saw some similarity here.

Naturally, this is porn's Internet; we just live in it.

My article on V is still getting traffic. I have no idea if my predictions in my article are correct yet. I also still have no plans on continuing to watch V. If anyone out there watches it, let me know in the comments!

Someone came here actually looking for me!

I was a little surprised that someone found War on Pants while searching for fleshlight information. I found that this links to my article on the 37th People’s Choice Awards. Namely, it points to this picture where I refused to show the phone that contributed to ruining the show for me:

Latifah - Fleshlight
I think I enjoyed making this picture more than I would enjoy a fleshlight.

How did that point here?

I don't remember doing a review of that...

I got a ton of traffic for my comments on Professor Garcha's Intro to Fiction class. I'm still slightly irritated at knowing that it exists.

I'm not the only one who thought of substituting Anne Rice for Stephenie Meyer.

The problem is even worse if you have to read Twilight in high school; you can't drop the class.

Believe it or not, some people actually want to read all of the math and source code on the site. One of the highest points of running this site was when I saw that someone read this project from beginning to end. You can see it here.

That depends on your particular tank. Mine will probably end up being 9V.

It's slightly disturbing that someone searched for that particular phrase on Google Image search. If you search for it (no quotes necessary), my picture is number 1. I have a little bit of unwarranted pride about that.

I wish GnuCash would have built-in encryption, but I completely understand why it doesn't. I like the system I use. This was another site high point: my first reader mail. I wrote a lengthy explanation comparing my method to another that I plan to convert into its own article.

Whoever searched for this was probably disappointed in the crappy video I threw together.

I risked blowing up my camera so I can make a crappy remote control for it. It was totally worth it.

Sorry. My automatic door light was not only what you weren't looking for, but also uses energy.

I wrote a review of True Grit. Apparently less people care about the movie than they do about seeing Matt Damon bang 14-year old Hailee Steinfeld.

I did the math on why Spencer Reid doesn't exist.

These are point as to why Spencer Reid can't exist.

A guy searching Google agrees with me! Tom Chaney is a MacGuffin! Huzzah!

Who's the ice lady? How fleshlight-able is she?

You know you're a serious masturbator when you're looking to mount your fleshlight. You're also probably pretty lonely. The Internet tells me that between the mattress and box spring works well. There's no need to hold it by using the Force.

Yoda Fleshlight

Pantsless the Mad Scientist
I'm very fleshlight-able.

I absolutly love my homemade drink cooler.

You're contradicting yourself. Thermoelectric heat sinks use the Peltier effect. Refrigerators use a phase-changing refrigerant like R-134a.

Desk Lamp Schematic
I'm a Wacom tablet master!

I don't remember writing anything about villains involving race, but I'd hate to disappoint. Here's the first black villain that came to my mind when I read that. (image source)


As demonstrated above, I tend to think about comic books a lot. Comic Book Villains didn't really deal a lot with actual comics, though.

A crack whore and Crack in America, respectively.

I wish I could wear sweaters so I could wear this, but just looking at it makes me start to itch.

Summarized: "I like my job. I'm glad that you like my work. Not all movies are art."

Leveraging this link would exercise your core competencies.

This was my first posted "project."

I agree.

My roommate and I had an old van's bench seat as a couch during college. How did you find out about that? Did I post that?

"Howz" about we don't, and I just call you an enemy of grammar?

I think these search terms are wrong. Shouldn't they be "julie bowen pantsless"? That would be much more interesting.

Julie Bowen Naked
Wait... That worked!?

Well, performing the previous search revealed what appears to be a legitimate top-down photo of Julie Bowen's breasts. Warning: children are attached to them.

I concluded that this search was done by either a homosexual male, heterosexual female, or furry.

Why do so many people search for "<female celebrity> pants"?

If you already know this, why would you search for it? Actually why would you search for a phrase like that in the first place? You, sir, are bad at Internet.

Yotsuba - Bad at Internet
I'm bad at scanner.

My light switch is mounted on the door frame.

Edelstein - Phone
She will eat your soul.

I still dare you to use the word ginormous in a term paper.

Do you mean Roll?

To 3 what? Did you mean :3 ?

Lion Heat Sink

No offense to Russel Brand, but Neil Patrick Harris can do better. Also, he's gay.

Never say that I never did anything for you.

Harris - Award

Make sure that ((trisc & 0b00001000) && (trisc & 0b00000100))

I take pride in my Scale of Pretentiousness.

Scale of Pretentiousness

Pull Down Resistor
That one

Well, I am building an RC Tank. If my comment system matters that much to you, yes, I have started using Disqus on the site.

Two Motors

I'm not going to help you rob a store, buddy.

Bowie Labyrinth
Please accept this picture of David Bowie and his crotch.

Smackdown's ratings are crap now.

Yes they are.

war on pants.ner waronpants

You're here!

There are more of these?

Bias Power Module
Just get a Bias supply.

If you have a flip phone and a small enough penis, I guess that could work.

That came out back in 2008.

Black Swan - Wanted

"New words are the shizznit!" - Webster

"Serial ports are the shizznit!" - microcontroller programmers

Punch Out
Third-Person Chase

Wheat Thins on Twitter? I don't even care enough to paste that into Google.

Either the "Yom Kippur War" or "Ramadan War" is also acceptable.

The maggots add an amazing tickling sensation.

If you need instructions on how to use a fleshlight, you shouldn't procreate. Even your fleshlight should reject you.